When you get into your 40’s\/50’s, your doctor will want you to get your colon checked out. All of us need to do this. It’s part of life. Thankfully, instead of drinking a bunch of stuff that causes volcanic ass-splosions (to clean you out) and then having a rubber tube shove ALL THE WAY up your poop shoot, you can choose to box up your poop and ship it to a laboratory. And somehow, they study your poop and determine if there are any signs of colon cancer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have done this. I have shipped my poopoo in a box. Let me tell you something boys and girls… you haven’t lived until you’ve pooped in a bucket, poured some kind of solution over it, sealed it up, boxed it up, and walked into a UPS store to ship it. The whole time I am wondering if these people recognize this white box? Then I wondered (while standing in line, holding my box of poop) whether the cute little lady at the counter was going to ask me what’s inside. Well, she did not ask. But some very FUCKED UP part of my brain WANTED her to ask so that I could proudly say “It’s my poopoo from about 2 hours ago!” out loud for everyone to hear!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, when your time comes to ship your poop in a box, think of your old pal Mike… who proudly pooped in a bucket and shipped that shit using his local UPS store. What a time we live in, my friends… when you can ACTUALLY ship your shit to someone. Next up, we’ll be able to send SHIT to people we’re pissed at.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This was all true by the way. Hope it gave you a small laugh. Enjoy your day!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…Mike<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When you get into your 40’s\/50’s, your doctor will want you to get your colon checked out. All of us need to do this. It’s part of life. Thankfully, instead of drinking a bunch of stuff that causes volcanic ass-splosions (to clean you out) and then having a rubber tube shove ALL THE WAY up […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-484","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/n2thefire.net\/n2thefiregames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/484","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/n2thefire.net\/n2thefiregames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/n2thefire.net\/n2thefiregames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/n2thefire.net\/n2thefiregames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/n2thefire.net\/n2thefiregames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=484"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/n2thefire.net\/n2thefiregames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/484\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":485,"href":"https:\/\/n2thefire.net\/n2thefiregames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/484\/revisions\/485"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/n2thefire.net\/n2thefiregames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=484"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/n2thefire.net\/n2thefiregames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=484"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/n2thefire.net\/n2thefiregames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=484"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}